Air ducts are a magnet for weird, gross, and dirty objects you’d never expect to find in them.

Seriously. Have you had your air ducts cleaned lately? Or Ever? You may be breathing in some really nasty stuff and not even know it.

To prove it. we caught up with Mr. Diaz, a Miami air conditioning tech who has seen it all and lived to tell the tale.

Here are the weirdest things he’s ever found in dirty air ducts:

Dried Up Human Feces

“Sometimes a construction worker building the house will be up in the air ducts and he will have to crap. Instead of climbing down, he’ll just do it up there. Then others follow and before you know it, you got lumps of dry human feces all over the place.”

Food Wrappers and Beer Bottles Filled With Urine

“Those same construction workers had their lunch up there too, and they leave it up there. Inspectors never check in the air ducts before you move into the house. Eventually it blocks up all the air you get.”

Crystal Meth

“You have to understand, the air duct is a place where people stash contraband like guns, crack pipes, and marijuana… This is South Florida we’re talking about…I’ve seen all that and more up in those air ducts.”

Dead Iguana

“This family had a pet iguana that disappeared; I found it dead up in the air ducts.”

Tarantula

“I don’t know how that thing got up there, but it was a big one.”

Mystery Goop

“Stuff that looks like snot all over the place… To tell you the truth, I don’t know what those workers are doing up there sometimes.”

Aliens and ghosts

“Aright, so I’ve never found actually found any, but sometimes people hear things up in their air ducts and they think that it is something paranormal.”

Rodents

“Mice and rats are probably the most common thing that you will see when an air duct needs to be cleaned.”

A Vibrator

“I have no explanation for how it ended up there, but somehow it did, and the homeowner was breathing it in every time their AC kicked on. Now that’s what you call indecent exposure!”

Thank you, Mr. Diaz! And all you people out there, get your air ducts cleaned right by South Florida’s Best AC Sales and Service Company, DirectAC.